Fall is a beautiful time of the year but it always makes me nervous. I watch the bright sunshine overhead and the shimmering orange leaves and I think, this could all be gone in an instant. Winter is hovering right over Fall's shoulder, ready to beat it down at a moment's notice. I never forget this all throughout September and October and most of November. It's exhausting, waiting for the good fall weather to end. I have to be vigilant. I have to spend all my free time outside because I don't know when the sun will visit me again. It's a precious commodity and one of the things that makes living in the Midwest/Northeast so exciting. When am I gonna freeze my tail off standing at the bus stop? You just never know. Keeps you on your toes.
Last weekend was a shining example of the ideal fall weekend. It was sunny, about 60 degrees, a fall crispness in the air yet there was no breeze. I woke up around 1, as I usually do on the weekend. But I knew the sun was out because I had been sleeping on and off since about ten o'clock, I was just too lazy to get up but I could notice the sun peeking through the closed blinds in my bedroom. I knew I had to go take a walk and enjoy the little time I had left with 60 degree weather.
First, I had to run over to the post office to turn in my Netflix DVD. The pickup was at 2pm and I got there at 1:57. This is often the case with me; I always forget to turn in my Netflix and it takes so long for them to turn the DVD around. So with all that running around I got all hot and I returned to my apartment to put on a short sleeve shirt and my Obama button because it makes me feel like I'm making a difference when I'm really just doing nothing. After that it was time for the walk to begin in the fine fall air.
I live up in Squirrel Hill and I decided to walk down to campus in Oakland. I had a book on reserve at the Carnegie Main Library because once I had a book on hold at the Squirrel Hill library and I was all excited to get it and I ran up to the library and found it was closed because it closes at five like four days a week. So that made me bitter. I reject the Squirrel Hill library now.
Squirrel Hill is about two miles away from Oakland, but it's a really easy walk because it's all downhill. I really enjoy gliding down the hills. I have never walked back up them though. I probably walked more than two miles because I took this really convoluted route and I got lost in some subdivision. There's a secret world on the other side of Forbes Ave across from Schenley Park. I imagine that all the professors from CMU live over there or something. The houses are old and large and quiet. There was one house that had a brick walkway lined with yellow flowers. I thought it was gorgeous. I love to walk through these kinds of neighborhoods. It reminds me of the kind of life I want for myself one day. I just wander and gaze into the window of people's lives for as long as it takes for my feet to take me past them.
I walked down Wilkins Ave and almost down to Fifth until I realized where that crazy hill was taking me. Then I successfully made it back to Forbes and walked past CMU to the library. When I got past Craig st I heard the faint drone of rock music just beyond me. I glanced down the street and saw Bigelow Avenue was closed off. I couldn't believe it. Fall Fest was going on and I didn't even know.
Fall Fest is this carnival thing for Pitt students, undergrads mostly, although anyone can go if they pay. I had attended this soiree six years in a row (four undergrad, two grad) and now I didn't even know it was happening. If I hadn't walked down to Oakland that day I would have spent my whole life not knowing. The thought made me sad. I couldn't even go near Bigelow because I felt like it wasn't for me anymore. There comes a time in your life when you need to let go of your younger spirit. Oh, it's so depressing. That was my moment. I am officially no longer a student. I don't know what to call myself now. How do I describe my life? By my job? A research assistant. I don't think so.
I feel like I'm suspended in mid-twenties limbo. It's not exactly alarming, it's mostly annoying. I hope this floating feeling is feeling, like a Pittsburgh fall.
